I have a new leg muscle, only on my right leg. I’ve named it ‘Jennifer’ aka side saddle right leg grip muscle.
Always pack voltarol gel.
You can never have too many habits or saddles and some people may prove a bad influence when it comes to shopping.
The Ciara Principle of shopping – Selling one item online at a small profit can justify buying ten more items and keeping them.
When faced with the prospect of learn to grip or fall to your doom over a fence it’s amazing how quick your self-preservation co-ordination kicks in.
The emergency grip works!
Don’t mount a big horse from the ground putting all your weight on a safety stirrup unless the aim is to be flat on your ass five seconds later.
When jumping aside it helps to know left from right.
The quickest way to give your instructor a heart attack is to test the emergency grip and then turn a tight 10 metre left hand circle at canter on a horse that is trying to buck.
A child size habit jacket in a size too small is incredibly effective at making you keep your shoulders back.
Trying to find a horseshoe in a massive field – the equestrian version of ‘Where’s Wally’
Walking over a pole on the ground can prove a lot more adventurous than jumping a fence.
Trying to punch a hole in a stirrup leather while sat stirrupless on an impatient horse is not the best idea.
Don’t try to climb over a stable door when your entire leg muscles are in spasm
Having a friend watch you reverse the horse box is a help when you are just about to accidentally go backwards down a ledge
Nothing looks as delighted with itself as a pony who has managed to break the zip on its hood without even taking it off.