Absolutely dreading the phrase ‘do my stirrups look even’…..seriously you are asking the wrong person

Spending ages laying out a dressage arena, standing back to admire your handiwork and realising it looks like you were drunk when you did it.

Getting the fear while trying to build a grid with all the fences in a straight line.

Never being entirely sure what height a fence is – “you will be grand, sure it is only about 90cm”.

Being great at training people to jump dog legs and bending lines because yours are usually so bizarre that the ones in competition seem easy to them afterwards.

Having an obsession with having clipping lines straight even if it means resorting to tape measures and chalk.

Hoping no one asks for a complicated trace clip.

Muttering ‘middle to middle’ under your breath while walking strides.

Only managing to get fairly straight up the centre line in dressage by staring at the middle of the judges car like your life depends on it.

Never being allowed to paint anything until someone else has applied the masking tape.

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