I Don’t Have Blue Hair

Recently, I saw a video on TikTok that changed the chemistry in my brain. Given the amount of frivolous content I watch on there, mainly as a head break from reality, I wasn’t expecting to have an epiphany. The video explained an experience where the user was targeted verbally by a random person on public transport who was taunting everyone for having blue hair and telling them how stupid they looked. When they approached the user they simply deflected it by saying “I don’t have blue hair”. The whole point of the video was that accusations and comments don’t bother us if they are completely and unarguably untrue. If someone teases your blue hair and you know you don’t have blue hair, you simply brush it off and move on.  Other accusations and comments get under our skin because deep down, a part of us worries that its either true or that its perceived to be true. I had a think about this. I thought of any recent comments in person, via third party or from internet trolls and asked myself which ones upset me, and why. Interestingly, the theory proved correct as the comments or accusations that took up time rent free in my head were things I either subconsciously thought might be true or worse, that I feared other people might think of me. The learning for me is to ask myself a couple of questions – A) Why does this comment upset me?  B) If I am deep down somehow saying the same thing about myself – why is that and if its negative and self-destructive, how do I stop? C) If I am worried someone thinks something about me, why does that worry me? Why am I validating their opinion? Why do I lack confidence in believing what I am and not what someone thinks I am? Two comments that used to get on my wick are thankfully two I have already dealt with. There are still other comments and accusations that get to me so I am working my way through those and I have started using this philosophy when something upsets or irritates me to identify why. I think it will be interesting to see what I learn from it. L (Who doesn’t have blue hair )