My boyfriend is a golfer. I bounce home regularly from the yard with announcements telling him the likes of ‘oh my god I jumped a MASSIVE* fence’ (*massive to me people, don’t get excited) and he will smile and say ‘ well done that’s awesome’. So yeah, he is great and supportive and puts up with me buzzing for hours like a kid on skittles just because the horse behaves. Bear in mind he will also come out with things like ‘so if you got up on that professionals horse could you jump those fences’? (eh, in a word, no) and ‘oh can you do that dressage move?’ (eh, if its on tv, probably no) and the classic ‘sure if the horse did it yesterday why wouldn’t she do it today?’. I have realised what the problem is though and it really is not his fault– unless you have ridden horses you won’t have the concept of participating in a sport where the main piece of equipment has a mind of its own. I can regularly see the appeal of being involved in a sport where the main piece of equipment needed A) doesn’t cost the earth, B) is inanimate and therefore does not have moods, opinions and feelings, C) does not need shoes every six weeks, D) cannot potentially kick you in the head ..…I could go on. Anyway, golfers of the world, to avoid any more confusion on your part at the hands of us horsey people, let me explain how it works for us…..