The Fictional Show Jumper
“I can jump 1.20”. Sure you can……at home…..badly….over a single fence. The miraculous feats achieved by the fictional show jumper will often happen when there is no one around to see, video or photograph it. Likewise, none of these skills have yet been displayed at a competition where the fictional show jumper is usually jumping several grades lower than their stories centre around.
The Directionless Wonder aka those with zero survival instinct aka the zombie apocalypse
‘left hand to left hand’ may very well be a rule of open schooling in the arena but the directionless wonder has no concept of left and right and will fail to notice that they are in any danger when you are heading straight towards them. The directionless wonder will somehow always end up riding in the same area of the school as you and will stroll along behind or in front of a show jumping fence as they have not noticed that you are jumping it One may often wonder how the directionless wonder has managed to ever cross a road given their complete lack of self- preservation. When riding in the vicinity of the directionless wonder the normal rules of schooling should be disregarded and instead the best practice is simply to stay out of their way, roar jumping whenever you are approaching a fence and give them an extremely wide berth if on a young or green horse