“That fence is WAY over max height” – using the incredibly accurate measuring scale of ‘my own leg’ this fence is bordering on being a little on the big side.
“I’m not competitive” – I’d eat you for a rosette
“I’m REALLY not competitive” – you and the horse
“I’m not that nervous” – I’m bricking it.
“I’m not at all nervous” – We are going to need a shot of whiskey and a valium
“The stride is really long” – person walking it was probably very short
“The stride is really short” – person walking it was probably very tall
“There are three strides in the double” – person walking it may have had too much human calmer
“I’m not going for speed” – watch me gallop
“They are all looking at that filler” – all the riders are looking at that filler.
“The time is very generous” – horse is a bit fast for optimum time
“The time is very tight” – horse is slow
“it wasn’t THAT bad” – please dear jebus don’t let me go in and do the same.
“I’m pretty sure I know my test’ – enter at A, at C turn…left? Right? Fook….
“Sure what’s the worst that could happen” – please don’t let me get bucked off again
“I’d rather have had four faults and a nice round than an awful clear” – I’d rather have had a nice clear round
“The judge is lovely” – At least the comments will be phrased nicely
“He is just a bit green” – he is old enough to know better and I am fit to throttle him for behaving like a four year old
Equestrian Reality 
Another classic, love it L.
Thanks for sharing! 🙂