A teenager that looks like a Spooks or Kingsland stall threw up on them.
A child with a face plastered in chocolate or ice cream.
A child crying because they want ice cream.
A pony with a cracking jump.
A child jumping higher on a 12.2 pony than you would ever have the balls to attempt on a horse.
A bored looking non horsey dad.
An inappropriately dressed groom (bonus point if they are getting asked to leave the ring at the time).
Stewards deep in discussion.
A lady wearing tweed and pearls.
A man carrying a bale of hay on his back.
Someone bawling crying because they won.
Someone bawling crying because they lost
Someone bawling because they fell off.
A horse and rider getting gated.
A near miss at a fence.
A shopaholic carrying more than four different shopping bags.
Someone frantically washing a horse that is meant to be grey.
Someone lunging a horse in the warm up ring.
An international rider signing an autograph.
A photographer taking a picture of a photographer.
A horse bouncing about while getting presented with a rosette and prize.
Someone trying and failing at haggling with a seller.
Someone who clearly spent too long at the long bar.
A lady dressed in side saddle attire (bonus point if they are not on or with a horse).
A lady who cannot walk in her heels.
Someone in a tweed mini skirt or short shorts.
People in a long toilet queue looking agitated.
A lady in a hat the size of a satellite dish.
A grumpy child having their hair done by an adult.
A rug addict excitedly buying and then trying to carry several bargain priced rugs.
Someone trying stuff on in the middle of a shop.
So about a week and a half ago the orange train and I headed off on another side saddle adventure, one I had been looking forward to for weeks. Ciara O’Connell (this lady: http://sidesaddleciara.wordpress.com/) had organised for a group of us to travel back to Ballyduff House near Thomastown in Kilkenny to avail of lessons with side saddle instructor Jennifer Torrance before staying over and heading to Mount Juliet the following day to hack out.
Never take the p*ss out of a side saddle instructor online before she gives you a lesson. You will regret it!
If you don’t know much about wine its fair enough to judge and choose a bottle by name – who could say no to a glass of antares?
A friend on an online equestrian forum recently created a thread that invited fellow members to post their earliest and most recent photo of them on their horse. I went searching through my laptop for photos while feeling that aside from trying new disciplines not much else would have changed in terms of my riding. How wrong I was. I found a photo of us competing at dressage in 2009 at the AIRC festival and another of us competing this summer at the same event.
I was asked earlier today by a rider if there were any exercises she could to prepare for riding in a side saddle lesson. Having only recently converted to the sideways side I thought it was only fair to share my experience and what I learned in those valuable first few weeks.
Always pack suncream, shorts, an umbrella and water proofs because if it the weather is not lashing rain and baltic it will be tropical!
Wearing a top hat one size too small for your head in 30 degree heat may not be the best idea… and no the hat will not stretch to fit your head in the heat either!
Trying to tie your own stock always carries the risk of either jabbing the stock pin in your neck or accidentally swallowing it while holding it between your teeth when trying to tie it using the jeep side mirror as a guide.
It is possible to use and stretch muscles you did not actually know you had.
You will know you have these muscles the next day and where on your body they are located – they will tell you, they may in fact scream abuse at you.
* The gospel was ‘Horse and Pony’ magazine and Freddie the chestnut pony was god. The posters covered every inch of your wall, the free stickers ended up on every school book and some of you might even remember the day the magazine went from black and white to colour!
* You wanted to ride and own Downlands Cancara the black stallion who was the Lloyd’s Bank mascot and Milton the ultimate show jumping gelding