Things I Learned Last Week

– Never underestimate the terror a small pig who is innocently minding his own business can strike into a horse fifty times its size and on the other side of a fence#

 – Never try to catch a horse when you are in a hurry. They know, they always bloody know

 – Unless you enjoy playing the equestrian version of wheres wally, don’t drop a thumb tack into a bed full of shavings

 – Three cups of tea with two sugars in each and a can of lucozade before lunch is never a good idea unless you want to be in a coma by 3pm

– The more you hate wasps the more likely it is that they will gravitate towards you

 – The company who think they have invented ‘stain resistant’ jods really should have had me as a pre release product tester #fail

– A horse grows in height by at least a hand when you have to mount from the ground

– Warm wet weather leads to the horrible choice of sweating inside a raincoat or getting soaked on the outside without a raincoat.

– If the war against obesity, diabetes and ill health is to work we really need to find a way to make healthy stuff taste like KFC skin or chocolate.

– Cats and dogs will always lie down in the most likely place for you to trip over them

– It is impossible not to spend money on pay day.

– ever assume an electric fence isn’t on.

The quickest way to get a horse to poop is to muck out the stable and add new beddding


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