Hail To The Bystander


Hail to the bystanders

Always waiting to say

You shouldn’t be riding

Your horse in that way


Always ready with advice

When you fall to the ground

Although their only riding experience

Is reading horse and hound

If you are feeling progress

They can take you down a peg

Nothing makes them happier

Than shrieking ‘you are on the wrong leg!!’.


You might start out confident

But soon you will feel dire

Don’t bother explaining your experience,

Sure if you jumped, they jumped higher.


If they are at a competition

The course builders stride is always wrong

They are only ever spectating

So the course never looks that strong.


They live in a fictional past

Where their ability was plenty

One of the first things they will tell you is

‘I used to jump one twenty’.


If you are competing in dressage

They will always watch your test

They will tell what went wrong

And which movement wasn’t your best


If you are wondering what is permitted

Don’t ever be a fool

They might never have competed

But they memorised every rule


They are such an armchair expert

Always glued to horse tv

They take such joy in pointing out

Any flaw that they can see


The best response to give

If you want to have some fun

Is “saddle up there buttercup

And show me how it’s done”




All content produced on this site is my own original content. Please like and share but please do not reproduce in any format without my prior permission. Thanks, L 





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