Blog Archives

13 Ways To Annoy Your Riding Instructor

1.Being Stirrupy Mcstirrups

Checking your stirrups before you ride, changing them after warm up, changing them before you jump – this is all grand and expected. Turning in in a group lesson sixteen bajillion times to change them though – no, just no.

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Hail To The Bystander

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Hail to the bystanders

Always waiting to say

You shouldn’t be riding

Your horse in that way

 

Always ready with advice

When you fall to the ground

Although their only riding experience

Is reading horse and hound

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Horse Related Injuries that are Practically a Rite of Passage

Having a horse stand on you either being a delinquent brat or jumping on you terrified when expecting you to save them. Injuries will range from the standard ‘oh my f**king god it hurts’ bruised foot to broken toes.

 

Losing a toe nail thanks to the above and spending at least one season unable to wear open toed shoes.

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The Reality of Being Short Sighted Equestrian

Having no idea which horse is yours without wearing glasses or contact lenses, you just know what colour blur it should be.

Experiencing the unique pain of a horses head bashing your glasses into your face.

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Things Only Equestrian Women Will Understand

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How make up is never really ‘stay all day’ or ‘budge proof’ unless it doesn’t rub off your forehead after wearing a hat and can withstand twelve hours of mud, wind and lashing rain. Extra marks if it stays on after you get a branch to the face on a hunt.

Having no sympathy for someone who broke a nail or got a paper cut. Sure that’s nothing compared to landing head first into a pole or ditch or being lifted off the ground by an animal several times your size. Suck it up.

Being reasonably sober after many generous slugs of god knows what from several hip flasks yet absolutely hammered after one bottle of beer.

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Things No Horse Owner Has Said, Ever

“Ah sure one horse is more than enough for me”

“I was too busy cleaning the house to go up to the horse”

“Why would I need more than one habit I can only wear one at a time anyway”

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A Ladies Guide to Preparing To Hunt Side Saddle in Ireland

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The first step is to prepare to ride side saddle in general and you can find a guide to this here. Once you have mastered the bar stool and ridden side saddle on an actual horse without face planting it is time to start preparation for hunting side saddle in Ireland. Once Autumn hits everyone will start talking about hounds, meets and hip flasks so if you plan to participate, get some practice in.  Read the rest of this entry

“So, How Did You Get On?”

Shows in general:

“He / She was BRILLIANT” = I was sadly not that brilliant and we did not place hence the lack of any other details

 “Just a few problems” =  It didn’t go well and I don’t want to go into details. In fact I want to go home and eat my own weight in chocolate and hug my duvet.

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A Ladies Guide to Preparing to Ride Side Saddle

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I was asked earlier today by a rider if there were any exercises she could to prepare for riding in a side saddle lesson. Having only recently converted to the sideways side I thought it was only fair to share my experience and what I learned in those valuable first few weeks.

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Oops….I Did It Again

The Holy Trinity of Equestrian Shopping

The Holy Trinity of Equestrian Shopping

 

I went to the RDS Dublin Horse Show last week which can only mean one thing, well two things. 1. Cups of strawberries covered in chocolate (which ends up with me covered in chocolate) and 2. Shopping. Last week in an attempt to control myself I set myself a very specific short list of things I am permitted to purchase. The list included calmers that I have run out of (for the horse not me) and a new pair of jodhpur boots because my own ones have been worn to the point of almost falling apart.

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