Horse adverts – phrases and terms

“Not at all mareish”

If you’re having mare problems

I feel bad for ya son

This horse has 99 problems

But being a b*tch ain’t one

“Has hunted”

Just because it has, doesn’t mean you should

“Good and quiet to hack”

Has failed at every other challenge and discipline bar ambling slowly up the road and back

“Hacks out”

Less nappy going up the road than into the arena



“Would make a great all-rounder”

Currently a barely average all rounder

“Price on Application”

Have you got mortgage approval?

“Relisted due to time wasters / tyre kickers”

Someone else bought it and sent it back / it has already failed at least one vetting

“Has a recent vet cert”

Here’s hoping you are thick enough to buy it without vetting it

“Forward / onward going / keen”

Speed of a Maserati, breaks don’t work.


Equine sociopath

“Would make a great show pony / dressage prospect”

Can’t jump a stick

“Lightly backed and turned away”

We tried to break it, it tried to kill us, we survived unscathed and now hopeful that someone else wants to go there next

“Worth considering for breeding”

Lame mare

“Potential eventer”

Can’t leave a pole up

“Very Quiet “


“Will make someone a lovely prospect”

Just not me., I don’t want it

“Still some growing to do”

Its at that poxy too big for a pony not big enough to make a horse stride height and looks like a spider baby as its head doesn’t ft its limbs- so yeah, here’s hoping it grows into itself.

“Very pretty”

Thank god, as its not a mover and has the personality of a wasp.


Over jumps everything, bring parachute

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