Having a horse stand on you either being a delinquent brat or jumping on you terrified when expecting you to save them. Injuries will range from the standard ‘oh my f**king god it hurts’ bruised foot to broken toes.
Losing a toe nail thanks to the above and spending at least one season unable to wear open toed shoes.
Getting a smack square in the nose from a horse’s nose either mounted or unmounted and experiencing the initial blinding pain followed swiftly by the “oh god is my nose broken” panic.
Stabbing yourself in the leg with a pitchfork. Gotta work on that unmounted co ordination
Rope burn and the realisation that the BHS books tell you to wear gloves for a reason.
Jamming your fingers or thumb when opening a sticky stable door. Bonus points for breaking a nail. Triple points for removing one.
Walking into the hitch of the horse box. Oh my aching shin bone….
Stepping on a rake. Funny in the cartoons, not so funny when the handle cracks you in the head in real life.
Living through the pain of the glasses / sunglasses versus face mashup when a horse decides to use a body part to pit one against the other.
Unintentionally ending up going for a swim in a water fence or ditch and worrying about what was in the water you accidentally might have swallowed.
Getting kicked and raiding the local pharmacy for painkillers and arnica while insisting that you are ‘fine’ and do not need to go to the hospital.
Slipping on an icy yard and going flat on your @rse.
Falling off and landing on or in the arena fence or a show jumping fence.
Grass skiing while trying to hold on to a running horse and then landing on your face, head or ass.
The extreme mortification of running while wearing spurs, catching them together and going head over tit in front of an audience with only yourself to blame.
Somehow falling onto or into the muck heap.
Not ducking early enough when loading a horse and connecting your head with the bar.
Getting shavings, hair, dust or all three in your eye.
Having a horsefly eat you for dinner.
Getting whipped across the face by a horse with a thin but painful tail.
Dealing with an aching finger because it got caught in the reins when you fell off and was bent at an unnatural angle.
The little blood blisters that appear in your fingers when you get them caught when doing up a girth.
Chiliblains in winter from the cold. Usually on your toes but sadly not restricted to there!
Getting caught between a horse and a wall and the various squash related resulting injuries.
Getting sunburnt and ending up with a farmers tan where your arms and legs look like they are from a different country.
Inner thigh rubs from being amateur enough to ride without stirrups without crossing them over properly first.
Realising why leather boots are so popular after ending up with athletes foot from wearing rubber ones in warm clammy weather.
Tripping / falling / falling off into a patch of nettles.
Getting your first electric shock. Yup, that fence is on.
Your first interaction with a gorse bush. What a lovely bright happy looking yet spiky and evil plant.
Feeling aches and pains in muscles you didn’t know you had after a hard days hunting or an intensive training session.
Wearing long hair down and getting it tangled in your hat harness or some tack or equipment – argh the pain.
Finger blisters from not wearing gloves on a snatching and pulling horse.
Gashing your knuckles open when using a metal currycomb at speed.
Having your knee smacked into by another rider on the opposite rein who is riding too close.
Almost having your foot removed at the ankle by a horse that rides too close to the arena fence and catches your foot by the toe against the paling. Ow, ow, f**king ow!
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