Oops….I Did It Again

The Holy Trinity of Equestrian Shopping
The Holy Trinity of Equestrian Shopping

 

I went to the RDS Dublin Horse Show last week which can only mean one thing, well two things. 1. Cups of strawberries covered in chocolate (which ends up with me covered in chocolate) and 2. Shopping. Last week in an attempt to control myself I set myself a very specific short list of things I am permitted to purchase. The list included calmers that I have run out of (for the horse not me) and a new pair of jodhpur boots because my own ones have been worn to the point of almost falling apart.

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What Women Want – Treat Her Like a Horse!

Wonderwoman

It really only dawned on me the other day. I’d been told the horse had been shod and had just nodded my head in acknowledgemnt that it had to be paid for (for the sake of not giving the non-horsey readers a heart attack I won’t say how much horse shoes cost but lets just say if you paid this much for your own shoes and had to throw them away after 6-8 weeks of wear – you would be p*ssed). Yet here I was in Penneys almost doing cartwheels at finding a pair of flats for €9 that would stay within budget and might make me look like an expensive lady for all of five minutes. If the horses loses a shoe – it is replaced and paid for no questions asked. If I lose a shoe – well actually thanks to the government practically taxing breathing the tragedy is I can no longer afford to go out and get drunk enough to lose a shoe anywhere. It has dawned on me – if this was Downton Abbey the horse would be the lady of the manor and I would be the upper class British equivalent of Cinderella.

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A Week of Firsts

 

Our first side saddle hack
Our first side saddle hack

“Feel the fear and do it anyway” isn’t that what they say? Well I can safely say I managed to accomplish that this week. My arms might be two inches longer than they were before (unfortunately not my legs!) but I am still in one piece and haven’t sprained my Jennifer muscle too badly.

Has anyone else ever watched the movie ‘Minis First Time’ it’s a rather odd but awesome film about a rebellious teenager who decided to embark on a series of ‘firsts’. While the main characters ‘firsts’ included getting high and joining an escort agency my own were slightly less exotic or illegal. Still the concepts of ‘firsts’ is not bad one all the same and once I started to embrace with a side saddle theme last week.

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These Are a Few of my Favourite Things

"That feeling you get from a hug off your horse"
“That feeling you get from a hug off your horse”

To the tune of the song of the same name!

Being greeted by neighing and pricked ears each day
The smell of creosote, molassed chaff and hay
Dark brown supple leather with subtle bits of bling
These are a few of my favourite things

 Horses that don’t lean when you’re putting their  studs in
A tailored show jacket that makes your thighs look thin
Short legged leather boots at a price that won’t sting
These are a few of my favourite things.

Competing ponies that are not white so I’m not up washing all night
Riding side saddle and getting new things right
When a horse pricks its ears when the show jumping bell rings
These are a few of my favourite things.

When I fall off
When it goes wrong
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favourite things
And then I don’t feel so bad

"The first sunny day to go hacking in Spring"
“The first sunny day to go hacking in Spring”

Antique old saddles and the smell of a tack shop
Managing to stay on jumping down off a big drop
When you jump a fence and the horse seems to grow wings
These are a few of my favourite things

That feeling you get from a hug off your horse
Remembering your way round a complicated course
When you get a fence so wrong but an honest horse still pings
These are a few of my favourite things.

Brown and wine accessories everything matching
Managing to ride well when people are watching
Riding a horse who feels like it’s on springs
These are a few of my favourite things

When I fall off
When it goes wrong
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favourite things
And then I don’t feel so bad

"Pristine horses and riders with immaculate turn out"
“Pristine horses and riders with immaculate turn out”

 When vanish can manage to get awful jodhpur stains out
When a handsome horse stands very still while you mount
The first sunny day to go hacking in Spring
These are a few of my favourite things

Pristine horses and riders with immaculate turn out
Sewn in even plaits and a tail fully brushed out
Riders in top hats and veils in the rings
These are a few of my favourite things

The sound of horses hooves as they hack on the road
The cry of the hounds as they hunt through the cold
Old school traditions and the memories they bring
These are a few of my favourite things
When I fall off
When it goes wrong
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favourite things
And then I don’t feel so bad

 

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What Showing Class should I enter?

I get asked this a lot when it comes to riding horse and hunter classes. The following diagram might help…..

 

Showing class selection made easy
Showing class selection made easy

Things I Learned At The Festival

 festival 9

Always pack suncream, shorts, an umbrella and water proofs because if it the weather is not lashing rain and baltic it will be tropical!

Wearing a top hat one size too small for your head in 30 degree heat may not be the best idea… and no the hat will not stretch to fit your head in the heat either!

Trying to tie your own stock always carries the risk of either jabbing the stock pin in your neck or accidentally swallowing it while holding it between your teeth when trying to tie it using the jeep side mirror as a guide.

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From Clueless to Competing – my side saddle adventure so far

 

Smile, shoulder back, smile, shoulder back
Smile, shoulder back, smile, shoulder back

Very recently I asked the ladies on a very helpful Facebook page how long it would take before side saddle would feel ‘normal’. There was a reason behind this question as my first side saddle showing class was just over a week away and I was at the time trotting like a drunk on a bouncy castle.

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Accountancy & Finance For Equestrians

Show me the money!
Show me the money!

Debits and credits – trip to the tack shop = credit the bank account, debit the horses wardrobe.

Investment – popular excuse used when buying something horse related that is extortionately expensive

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